Lately, a lot has been going on in my life. I've struggled with things I've never had to before, wrestled with thoughts, ideas, and emotions, and most importantly, I've come to realize that, like what John Mayer once so wisely said in the lines of one of his songs, that "I've finally overcame trying to fit the world inside a picture frame."
Lesson #1: I've always known that disappointment is one of my greatest fears in life. Whether that's disappointing myself, someone else, or something else, its just always something I never wanted to do. I'm an achiever and a competitor, and it's just part of my nature to never disappoint.
I have come to realize lately that disappointment isn't necessarily failure to achieve what you expect yourself to achieve in any given situation, but that it is getting a result that isn't necessarily bad but just something different then what someone else or yourself was looking for. So in other words, disappointment doesn't equal failure, it equals surprise.
Disappointment is no longer a fear of mine.
Lesson #2: I've begun to understand what real strength is. I didn't figure this out until this morning. Not only is strength fighting through the hard times and situations, but its overcoming the idea that you aren't strong enough to do what you have to do. I overcame this notion that I am too weak about ten minutes ago. Strength isn't just fighting through something just to get by, strength is fighting through something to come out even STRONGER.
Lesson #3: No matter how hard you try to keep things the way you want them to go, God always throws something unexpected at you. LIFE IS ALWAYS IS UNEXPECTED. Don’t ever forget that! If it was expected it’d be so boring, and how would we ever learn anything?
I'm the type A kind of person who loves to have everything planned out ahead of time, loves itineraries and schedules, structures and routine, so its very in my nature to have things in my head planned out ahead of time, and to try to steer them onto that path. However, this characteristic (not flaw) of mine, has led me into my downfall in numerous areas. Because, when you try soo hard to make things go perfectly and smoothly, and try even harder to not make mistakes, you end up making them.
Lesson #4: EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES. Yes, it took me this long to really understand that. As much as I want to be perfect, I’m never going to be. I’m a human; God created me a sinful, imperfect being. Just as much as I need forgiveness from God and other people for my mistakes, I need to be just as forgiving.
Lesson #5: Be bold. Be beautiful. Be courageous. It’s so much easier that way! Just let go and have fun. Be confident in who you are, all your abilities, all your strengths and weaknesses, and even the times you think you’ve messed up. Work it! Own it! Embrace yourself! If you aren’t going too, the who is? Life will go on, it never stops. Days, minutes, and hours, are a constant. They’re not going to stop and wait for you to suck it up and deal with it. I’m still in the process of learning this, but I’ve identified it, and I’m working on it. =)
Lesson #6: All hope is never lost. Keep your head up, always! No matter how hard it seems. Even when you’re at the lowest of lows and feel like you could still go even lower, turn to your friends, the people you trust, the ones who have your back no matter what. They’re there for you, and to help you at, and to help you keep your head up, and see the things you maybe didn’t want to see before. They will help you fight through until something better happens.
Lesson #8: Understand that healing takes time. Yeah, it is so hard, to deal with whatever you’re going through, but each day it gets a little easier. And they are going to be days where you take five steps back. But remember, from the words of Tupac, “Through every dark night, there’s a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it gets, stick your chest out, keep your head up.... and handle it.” Allow yourself time to make decisions about things; see things for what they really are. This does not necessarily mean moving on from whatever you’re going through, but learning to understand it, learn from it, heal from it, and grow through it.
Lesson #7: There is ALWAYS going to be haters. ALWAYS. They're always going to be the people who are waiting for you to fail, the ones who hope something bad will happen to you, the ones who are going to go out of their own way to try and cause you pain or hurt, and the ones who just down right do not like you. You have to learn how to shake it off, realize how much bigger of a person you are than them, and not let them and all of their childish games get to you. Because you know you are too good to let that bring you down. On the other side though, there are always going to be the people that root for you, want the best for you, and will give you the help you need and the shoulder to cry on when you need one. HANG ON TO THESE PEOPLE.
Lesson #8: There is always a silver lining! Yeah, none of us are ever going to understand half of the pain we go through during our lives. Like I said in the lesson before, there is always hope, and along with that hope, comes something good out of everything. I firmly believe that God will never let you experience something you aren’t able to handle. Out of these situations, God always finds something good to teach us. We just have to be open to learning things, and being patient about what God is trying to show us. If you aren’t going to be open about it, then the pain isn’t worth it, and all has happened in vain. Don’t allow yourself to let that happen.
Now back to what I was saying about John Mayer's words earlier - what happens in the world is almost never what you expect. It's full of twists and turns, ups and downs, and the moment we think we understand it and have everything figured out, it turns out we were anything but.
I know a lot of these things are kind of common knowledge and or cliché, and as people and as friends we say these things all the time to people in need of help, but I really have seen these and experienced and learned these in my life, especially recently. I’ve known about them my entire life, and have always considered them things to live by, but I never really experienced the full meaning of them until recently. I hope what I had to say can help you out today, next week, or the next time you run into a problem, and just need a few words from a friend.
I am ever grateful to the people who helped me learn these things. Thank You.
-N
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